I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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