2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
