I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When are your genitals available?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
