im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
