i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You made out with two different species that night
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So much Jack, so little girl.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
