Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
