I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
