no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
