we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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