I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
