i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
