he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
