hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
