I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
