I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i believe in u and ur pee
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
