it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
