I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
