I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
