the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
