did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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