ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
