I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
