turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
