Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
