Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
