i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
