Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
