it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
