I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
