i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
