Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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