i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
