hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
