i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
