Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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