Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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