Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
