Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
