oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
