i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
