Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
