Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
