you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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