one two three fourrrrnication!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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