Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
