He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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