I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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