Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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