I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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