Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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