careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
